Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
