I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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