i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
