You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Small penises have feelings too.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize