Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
how does that bad decision feel?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
