did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i barfeds in our rink
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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