i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
only you would photoshop your dick
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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