he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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