Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
