Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
