I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
