Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize