I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
