i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
