Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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