Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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