I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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