We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize