She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
