Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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