I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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