The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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