belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
