my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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