I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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