Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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