Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
