Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
