How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
