In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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