I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
