I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
