Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
