god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just found a bag of teeth...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
