Umm I'm too high to move.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
