dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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