She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I am available for nakedness
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
