Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
