Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
