Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
