Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
