Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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