I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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