Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
