I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
This toilet bowl is my home.
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