Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
