Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
