no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
