Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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