i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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