yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
