guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
thus making me awesome and them whores
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
