walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
