About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
