i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
