i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
