dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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