I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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