We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
