lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize