Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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