great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
